Looking to add some humor to your next Home Depot trip? These 25 jokes will keep you laughing while you shop for your DIY needs.
Note: To print the jokes, click on the image to open in the new window.
1Why did the hammer break up with the nail?
Because it just couldn’t handle the pressure.
2I went to Home Depot to buy a new lawnmower, but I left empty-handed…
I just couldn’t handle the grass situation.
3I tried to build a chair from Home Depot, but it was a real *screwy* situation.
4I asked the guy at Home Depot for something to fix my broken pencil.
He told me to just *sharpen* up.
5Why do carpenters never play hide-and-seek at Home Depot?
Because good luck hiding when you’re surrounded by sawdust!
6I walked into Home Depot and asked for a lightbulb…
They said, “Well, that’s a bright idea!”
7I went to buy a drill at Home Depot but got distracted by the screwdrivers.
Guess I got *screwed*!
8Why did the paint brush go to therapy?
Because it had a lot of *brushes* with its past!
9What’s a Home Depot employee’s favorite type of music?
Heavy metal!
10Why did the power tool break up with the drill?
It was tired of being *drilled* all the time.
11How does a Home Depot worker organize a party?
They make a *plan* and nail it down!
12What did the plunger say to the toilet at Home Depot?
“I’ve got you covered!”
13Why did the ladder get in trouble at Home Depot?
It was always climbing the corporate ladder!
14Why did the tape measure break up with the ruler?
It couldn’t handle the constant comparisons!
15Why do home improvement projects never go according to plan?
Because they’re always getting *screwed up*!
16What’s a Home Depot shopper’s favorite workout?
Lifting heavy boxes of *hardware*.
17Why did the toolbox go to therapy?
It had too many *issues* to work through.
18What do you call an organized Home Depot?
A *well-planned* chaos!
19Why was the saw feeling so sharp at Home Depot?
It had been working overtime!
20What do you call a Home Depot employee who loves gardening?
A *root* specialist.
21Why was the hammer feeling depressed at Home Depot?
It was having a tough time finding its *nail* in life.
22What did the Home Depot sign say to the customer?
“Are you *screwing* around or buying something?”
23Why did the flashlight get a promotion at Home Depot?
It always knew how to shine in the spotlight!
24What do you call a Home Depot store that’s always clean?
A *sparkling* success!
25Why don’t electricians ever play poker at Home Depot?
They can’t stand the *current* pressure!
26Why did the saw go to therapy?
It had a lot of *cutting* remarks.
27What’s the best way to get ahead in Home Depot?
Keep a *tight grip* on things!
28Why did the Home Depot cashier become a stand-up comedian?
They knew how to *deliver*!
29Why do hammers never get lost at Home Depot?
Because they always know where to *hammer* it down.
30What did the shovel say to the dirt at Home Depot?
“You’re really digging yourself into a hole!”
31Why did the toolbox go on vacation?
It needed some *space* to unwind!
32How does a Home Depot shopper express excitement?
By saying, “This is *screwy* in a good way!”
33What’s a Home Depot customer’s favorite kind of movie?
Anything that has a lot of *construction*!
34Why are drills so popular at Home Depot?
Because they’re always *drilling* down to the point!
35Why did the power drill get a job at Home Depot?
It was great at making *holes* in the competition!
36How does a Home Depot worker apologize?
They say, “I’ll *fix* it!”
37Why did the hammer start a band at Home Depot?
It was great at *striking* the right chords!
38What’s a Home Depot worker’s favorite exercise?
*Lifting* boards!
39Why was the shelf feeling lonely at Home Depot?
Because it was *always being put on a shelf*!
40What do you call a Home Depot employee who loves puzzles?
A *piece* of work!
41What do you call a store with too many tools?
A *tool shed* of opportunities!
42Why did the plunger go to the dance at Home Depot?
Because it was great at *getting things unstuck*!
43Why do Home Depot customers love doing DIY projects?
Because they *nail* it every time!
44Why did the paint can start singing at Home Depot?
Because it had *colorful* vocals!
45Why do screws never get lonely at Home Depot?
Because they always have *threads* to talk to!
46What do you call a Home Depot employee who can’t stop talking?
A *chatter* box!
47Why was the tape measure acting so grumpy?
It was always being *stretched* too thin!
48What do you call a power tool with a great personality?
A *charismatic* drill!
49What’s a Home Depot shopper’s favorite dessert?
A *screwy* pie!
50Why did the shovel stop working at Home Depot?
It was *dug* out of energy!
51Why do paint cans never get lost?
Because they’re always in the *spotlight*!
52Why did the hammer break up with the screwdriver?
It couldn’t handle the *twist* in their relationship!
53Why did the tape measure get so good at telling jokes?
Because it was always *measuring* the punchlines!
54What’s a Home Depot employee’s favorite social media platform?
*Pinterest*—because they can *pin* all their projects!
55Why did the power drill start a podcast?
It had a lot of *impact* to share!
56What do you call a Home Depot store on Black Friday?
A *bargain* hunting ground!
57Why did the ladder bring a suitcase to work?
It was ready to *climb* the corporate ladder!
58What’s a Home Depot worker’s favorite holiday?
Labor Day—because they love *working* hard!
59Why was the tool belt feeling nervous?
It didn’t want to be *strapped* for time!
60What’s a Home Depot worker’s least favorite type of weather?
*Rain*—it makes the wood swell!
61Why was the wrench so popular at Home Depot?
Because it was great at *tightening* things up!
62Why do Home Depot shoppers love Sunday mornings?
Because they’re all about *fixing* things before the week starts!
63Why did the worker bring a pencil to the hardware section?
To *draw* up some plans!
64What’s a Home Depot store manager’s favorite sport?
*Basketball*—because they’re always *shooting* for success!
65Why was the power saw always invited to parties?
Because it knew how to *cut* loose!
66Why did the flashlight refuse to go to the party?
It was already *burned out*!
67Why do Home Depot shoppers love the winter season?
Because they can *nail* their holiday projects!
68Why did the hammer go to therapy?
It had too many *issues* to *hammer* out!
Conclusion: Next time you’re at Home Depot, try these jokes on your friends or coworkers and add some fun to your home improvement projects!