112 Hilarious Monday Jokes for Adults to Kickstart Your Week

Mondays don’t have to be dull! Start your week with these hilarious jokes for adults that will have you laughing all day long.

Note: You can print the jokes, open the image and then print.

1Why don’t skeletons ever work on Mondays?
Because they don’t have the guts to face the start of the week.

2Why is Monday the toughest day for a coffee lover?
Monday is the day when even coffee needs coffee to survive.

3What’s the best way to describe Mondays at work?
Mondays feel like a speed bump that stops you from reaching the weekend.

4Why is Monday considered the longest day of the week?
It’s like a marathon that never seems to end!

5How do you know Monday has arrived at work?
Because the coffee is stronger than your desire to be productive.

6What do you call a person who loves Mondays?
Someone who’s probably working on their second cup of coffee by 9 AM.

7Why do Mondays feel so much harder than the rest of the week?
It’s the aftermath of a weekend hangover—without the fun part.

8What’s the most essential item for surviving Monday at work?
Coffee, and a good excuse to hide under your desk for five more minutes of peace.

9How do you make a Monday feel less miserable?
Start by pretending it’s still Sunday and no one will know the difference.

10What’s the hardest part about working on Mondays?
Pretending you’re not already counting down the days to Friday.

11How do you feel about Mondays?
It’s like a second chance to be productive… that you immediately squander.

12Why don’t we trust Mondays?
Because they always promise to be better, but they never are!

13How can you make Mondays less stressful?
Have a backup plan for when your coffee runs out.

14Why did the employee bring a ladder to work on Monday?
Because they heard the job was going to take them to new heights—on a Monday, of all days!

15What’s the best way to kick off a Monday morning?
Start with a coffee strong enough to get you through until your lunch break.

16Why did the boss send an email on Monday morning?
Because they knew we were all just waiting for a distraction from the reality of work.

17How do you know it’s a Monday?
Because your “to-do” list magically triples overnight.

18What did the coffee say to the employee on Monday?
“Let’s make this workday bearable, one sip at a time!”

19Why did the computer hate Mondays?
It had too many bugs to deal with and no time for a software update.

20Why is Monday a terrible day for a diet?
Because the only thing you’re craving is a nap… or a donut.

21Why did the calendar go to therapy?
Because it had too many Mondays to handle.

22How do Mondays and I get along?
We both pretend to work, but we’re mostly just trying to survive the day.

23Why did the employee avoid eye contact with their boss on Monday?
Because they knew their boss was just as unhappy to be there as they were.

24Why does Monday feel like a prelude to a bad sitcom?
Because the laughs are forced, and the plot never seems to go anywhere.

25What’s the best part about Mondays?
Realizing that by Friday, you’ll have completely forgotten how much you dreaded today.

26Why does Monday make a good comedian?
Because it knows how to make everyone groan.

27What’s the difference between a Monday and a vacation?
One involves rest and relaxation, the other involves a strong cup of coffee and a long stare at the clock.

28Why do employees always look forward to the weekend?
Because by Sunday night, even Monday starts to look a little too good to pass up.

29What did the manager say about Monday?
“Remember, we’re all in this together—until the weekend.”

30How do you survive a Monday at work?
By pretending you’re already halfway through the week and that it’s actually Wednesday.

31Why don’t Mondays ever get promoted?
Because they never seem to get the work done on time.

32Why was the office so quiet on Monday morning?
Because everyone was still in shock that the weekend ended.

33How do you make Monday feel like a Friday?
Take an extended lunch break and then leave early—just kidding!

34Why do Mondays and coffee get along so well?
Because both are necessary for survival!

35What’s the most exciting part of a Monday?
When you realize it’s almost time for your next coffee break.

36Why don’t Mondays ever tell good jokes?
Because they always leave you groaning by the end.

37What’s the one thing you can always count on about Monday?
It’ll be exactly what you expect: exhausting and way too long.

38Why did the boss look so happy on Monday?
Because they had already decided it was time for a meeting—of course.

39How does a Monday apologize for being so dreadful?
It promises that next week, it’ll try harder.

40Why did the employee bring a blanket to work on Monday?
Because they needed to nap through the worst part of the week.

41What do you call a Monday with no coffee?
A disaster waiting to happen.

42Why does Monday have a bad reputation?
Because it’s the first day of the workweek, and no one’s ready for it.

43How do you explain Monday to a child?
“Imagine the longest, most boring day of your life. That’s Monday, but with meetings.”

44Why did the coffee cup get mad at Monday?
Because Monday spilled it every time it needed a break.

45Why is Monday like a reboot of your favorite show?
Because it’s the same episode over and over again—just with different coffee.

46What’s the hardest thing about Monday mornings?
Convincing yourself to stop snoozing the alarm.

47Why did the hammer break up with the nail?
Because it just couldn’t handle the pressure.

48Why do Mondays and Fridays never get along?
Because one is all about beginning, and the other is all about leaving.

49Why did Monday go to therapy?
Because it had too many issues to deal with before the week even started.

50How does a Monday feel about the weekend?
Jealous, because the weekend always gets all the fun and relaxation.

51Why do Mondays always get so much hate?
Because they’re the beginning of the workweek, and no one is ever ready for them!

52What’s a Monday morning’s favorite sport?
Procrastination—especially when it’s time to start working.

53Why does everyone feel sleepy on Monday morning?
Because they stayed up late to make the weekend last a little longer.

54How do you motivate yourself on a Monday?
By imagining how much better Friday will feel after surviving this one.

55Why do Mondays seem to move so slowly?
Because they know they have to drag the entire week behind them.

56Why do we never trust Mondays?
Because they always act like they’re going to be great, but end up disappointing us every time.

57What did the employee say about working on Monday?
“I’m not here to work—I’m just here to survive until Friday.”

58Why do Mondays always leave you feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck?
Because they come out of nowhere, full of responsibility and expectations!

59What’s the most frustrating thing about Mondays?
Realizing that your weekend plans were the best thing that happened all week.

60Why are Mondays always so disorganized?
Because they don’t have the weekend to prepare for the chaos ahead.

61Why is Monday the day that everyone becomes a procrastinator?
Because no one is ready to do anything when the week begins!

62What’s the best way to beat Monday blues?
By pretending it’s actually still Sunday and you can go back to sleep.

63Why do Mondays feel like running a marathon in slow motion?
Because no matter how much you try, it always seems to take forever to finish.

64What do you call someone who doesn’t dread Mondays?
A superhero—because they must have some extraordinary powers.

65Why is Monday so good at making you feel tired?
Because it knows exactly how to exhaust your patience and energy in one morning.

66What did the office printer say on Monday morning?
“Don’t worry, I’m already jammed… just like everyone else here!”

67Why did the coffee mug go to work on Monday?
Because it knew it would be needed more than ever to get through the day.

68Why does Monday always seem to arrive so early?
Because it can’t wait to remind you that the weekend is over!

69Why did the manager say “good morning” on Monday?
Because they thought saying it would make everyone feel better, but it didn’t.

70Why is Monday the worst day to start something new?
Because it’s too busy trying to get back into the groove of the workweek!

71Why do Mondays always seem to have so much drama?
Because they know how to make everything feel like a big deal.

72How do you handle Monday mornings with grace?
By accepting that grace is a thing of the past and caffeine is your new best friend.

73What’s the best way to make Monday feel better?
Start by pretending it’s Tuesday and you’ve already made it halfway through the week!

74Why do Mondays bring so many meetings?
Because it’s the one day you can guarantee that no one is ready to talk business.

75Why do Mondays have so many “emergency” tasks?
Because everything gets pushed to the start of the week when nothing is ready to be done!

76Why is Monday called “Manic Monday”?
Because it’s the only day of the week that feels like a high-speed chase to get everything done.

77What’s the hardest thing about Monday morning meetings?
Trying to stay awake while pretending you’re paying attention.

78Why does Monday feel like an alarm clock ringing all day?
Because it’s constantly reminding you that the weekend is over.

79How do you know Monday is about to end?
When you’re halfway through your second cup of coffee and realize it’s only 9:30 AM!

80Why is Monday like a rollercoaster?
Because it’s full of ups and downs, and by the end, you’re just glad it’s over.

81Why did Monday start a new project?
Because it loves to pile on the stress right at the beginning of the week.

82Why does Monday always come too soon?
Because it doesn’t give you enough time to mentally prepare for the workweek ahead.

83What’s the most stressful thing about a Monday morning?
Realizing you’ve already forgotten half the stuff you were supposed to do over the weekend.

84Why does Monday feel like a bad sequel?
Because it’s the same old story, just with a different coffee cup.

85What did the office plant say about Monday?
“I’m just here to survive until the weekend too, buddy.”

86Why does Monday always seem so unforgiving?
Because it doesn’t care how much you want to stay in bed, it still expects results!

87How does a Monday greet you at work?
With an inbox full of emails and a calendar full of meetings.

88Why does Monday always bring its worst self to work?
Because it knows everyone else is already grumpy, so why not make it worse?

89Why do Mondays always seem to have a headache?
Because they have to deal with all the leftover stress from last week.

90Why is Monday morning like a traffic jam?
It feels like you’re stuck, and no matter how much you try to speed things up, it’s going nowhere.

91Why do Mondays always seem so cluttered?
Because it’s the day you’re forced to clean up the mess from the weekend’s laziness.

92Why is Monday so good at making you feel overwhelmed?
Because it knows how to hit you with a million things at once and expects you to handle it all perfectly.

93Why is Monday the most judgmental day of the week?
Because it’s quick to remind you that the weekend wasn’t long enough to prepare for all the work ahead.

94Why do Mondays make everything feel more difficult?
Because it’s the day when everything piles up all at once after two days of nothing happening.

95Why do Mondays come with so much baggage?
Because they carry the weight of the entire workweek on their shoulders.

96How do you know it’s a Monday at work?
When everyone in the office is pretending to be productive, but really, no one’s fully awake yet.

97Why do Mondays love drama?
Because they thrive on chaos and confusion, making everything seem more complicated than it really is.

98Why did Monday get a promotion?
Because it’s the day that holds the most responsibility—whether you like it or not.

99Why do you always feel the pressure on Monday?
Because you’re already behind schedule and trying to catch up with the rest of the week.

100What’s the worst part about Monday mornings?
Knowing you have a whole week of work ahead and the weekend seems a million miles away.

101Why does Monday feel like a broken promise?
Because it never delivers the relaxation that the weekend left you longing for.

102Why does Monday get such a bad reputation?
Because it’s the day that forces you to face reality after a blissful break.

103Why is Monday a horrible date?
Because it’s always the day when everything seems to go wrong!

104What’s Monday’s idea of fun?
Turning your to-do list into a never-ending mountain of tasks.

105Why does Monday love to make you late?
Because it knows you’re never quite ready to get back to the grind just yet.

106What’s the first thing you think about on Monday morning?
“How long until Friday?”

107Why does Monday have so many meetings?
Because it’s the day everyone feels the need to make all the important decisions—before they’ve had enough coffee.